Bei Autoren wie Hemingway ist es ziemlich schwer zu demonstrieren worin die literarische Qualität seiner Texte besteht, denn sie zeichnen sich in erster Linie durch die ABWESENHEIT traditioneller literarischer Mittel, wie z.B. beschreibender Adjektive und Adverbien aus.
Leichter wird es, wenn man einen Text nimmt und daraus alle „interessanten“ Adjektive, Adverbien und Verben entfernt bzw. durch langweiligere ersetzt. Hier z.B. der Beginn einer Nighthawks Geschichte meiner früheren Schülerin Elisa Granato:
Gang warfare in some distant country. 200 victims. Weather will be fine. The voice of the newscaster could be heard across the room, barely noticed by the three figures sitting at the bar while the barkeeper was cleaning some glasses. He looked at the guest that had been sitting there for at least two hours and ordered nothing but a glass of water and a beer coaster. An elderly man in a grey suit … His features didn’t move, and if it wasn’t for his occasional nervous twitches, you couldn’t tell if he wasn’t already dead. Poor man, reminds me of my old grandfather … I wonder what he’s thinking of. Perhaps I should talk to him, he looks really troubled. But probably it would just annoy him …
Und hier derselbe Text nochmal:
Gang warfare in some distant country. 200 victims. Weather will be fine. The feeble voice of the newscaster floated across the room, barely noticed by the three figures at the bar that sat silently while the barkeeper was boisterously (heftig) cleaning some glasses. He glanced at the guest that had been sitting there for at least two hours and ordered nothing but a glass of water and a beer coaster. An elderly man in a grey suit … His sharp features didn’t move, and if it wasn’t for his occasional nervous twitches, you couldn’t tell if he wasn’t already dead. Poor guy, reminds me of my old grandfather … I wonder what he’s thinking of. Perhaps I should talk to him, he looks really troubled. But probably it would just annoy him …
Im Vergleich kann man dann herausarbeiten, warum die zweite Fassung besser ist.
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